Lucy
by colbyjackchz
Summary: Carol's breath caught in her throat, this song seemed to instantly immerse her in memories even though she couldn't recall ever hearing it. It brought her back to...her little girl.


**Lucy**

****It had been well over 10 years since Carol Peletier heard actual music playing on the radio. For the longest time there wasn't even a radio, after all, who was broadcasting amongst all this carnage? When there was radio it was mostly static or muffled communication between unknown people.

People…well there sure weren't many of those anymore. From the beginning, more than a decade ago, when the zombie apocalypse began the world was teeming with life. Now…now over 10 years later…the amount of people who had actually survived probably was less that one twentieth of the original population, probably less. The walker problem really couldn't be solved because of what she clearly remembered Rick telling the group many years ago.

We're all infected… the words lingered in her mind, still retaining a bit of the initial shock. It couldn't be completely taken care of until the whole human population died…but then there would be no more anyone to care or rebuild what was destroyed. It did seem though that it had calmed down quite a bit with the government trying the best to clean up the mess that they clearly caused, though Carol wasn't sure exactly how.

Now it seemed with the regular bombings of big cities, such as Atlanta, the walker population was lessening greatly. This was as close it seemed as the world was going to get to normality again.

As for Carol's group, they were able to survive despite the odds all against them. With less walkers that meant less of a threat, but there was also the unseen threats such as starvation and dehydration that were constantly being thrown their way. Rick was still going strong, trying everyday to lead their group to the best of his ability…though there was something in his eyes that seemed to change him after he had to kill Shane.

Lori had given birth to a baby girl, who was just about to turn nine. Carl was a proud brother, always keeping an eye on that little girl. Beth, and Maggie were doing well in spite of the loss of Hershel due to old age. He had lived a full life and went out in peace. Daryl and Andrea were as lively as ever, never letting their guard down to protect the remainder of their people.

As for her…somehow she had made it through too…though she wonders why everyday. Carol drifted out of her thoughts as she heard the music clearly coming through the radio, finishing a country song from an artist she couldn't identify.  
Her ears perk up as she sits alone by the fire with this radio as a soft beat begins to play. It sounds like piano, boy had it been a while since she'd played.

_Hey Lucy, I remember your name_  
_I left a dozen roses on your grave today_

Carol's breath caught in her throat, this song seemed to instantly immerse her in memories even though she couldn't recall ever hearing it. It brought her back to...her little girl. Carol could feel her throat clenching up and her eyes start to burn. Every time she even thought about her the pain was as sharp as it was the first time she saw her walk out of that barn with the eyes not of her baby, but of a monster.

_I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away_  
_I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say_

God almighty did Carol wish she could talk to her little girl, even if it was where she was buried. Her grave was miles and miles away back at Hershel's farm though. Every night she prayed to her, hoping she was safe in heaven with grandma and grandpa.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I'd give up all the world to see_  
_That little piece of heaven looking back at me_

Carol could feel warm tears sliding down her cheeks, her eyes blurring the fire in her line of sight. She never could understand why it had to be Sophia instead of her. Carol would give anything, anything for Sophia to be here all these years instead of her. Carol firmly believed that God had a plan…but for years she was angry with Him for taking Sophia from this world. She was just a child!

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I've gotta live with the choices I made_  
_And I can't live with myself today_

Carol buried her head in her hands, feeling her body wracked with sobs and her thoughts crying out to Sophia. Daily she would revisit that day that Sophia went missing. If she had only kept a closer eye on her, if only… Carol couldn't help but blame herself for her daughter's death.  
Sure the efforts to find her had been great and her hope had never wavered that Sophia would have pulled through. That hope was slaughtered when they opened Hershel's barn of walkers and out stumbled her daughter. It was unreal; it was her biggest nightmare that she had confronted that day.

_Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday_  
_They said it'd bring some closure to say your name_  
_I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance_  
_But all I got are these roses to give_  
_And they can't help me make amends_

Sophia would have been turning 22 this year…That only made Carol sob harder, slumping against the log that served as their chairs around the fire. Of course Carol remembered Sophia's birthday. For the past ten years when that day came along she found flowers around the camp, putting them under a tree and singing happy birthday to Sophia.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I'd give up all the world to see_  
_That little piece of Heaven looking back at me_  
_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I've gotta live with the choices I made_  
_And I can't live with myself today_

The pain Carol felt was the worst in the world. It was worse than anything she could imagine and it was reoccurring every time she merely thought about Sophia. After Rick shot Sophia in the head, Carol collapsed in a heap of tears. Her group was there for her even when she was sure she wanted to live no longer after the loss of her baby. After all, what did she have to live for? That was the question she had asked herself many of times. In the end the only reason she decided to stay was her desire not to give up on Sophia.

_Here we are, now you're in my arms_  
_I never wanted anything so bad_  
_Here we are for a brand new start_  
_Living the life that we could've had_

Many of times her dreams consisted of this, being with Sophia again. If only it was real life like it used to be. Carol inhaled a deep breath, letting her tears fall onto the ground like rain drops and tried her best to remember what it was like to be in a warm embrace of her daughter. The memories had began to fade…which only made the pain worse. How could time be so cruel as to take that from her too?

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand_  
_Me and Lucy never wanna end_  
_Just another moment in your eyes_  
_I'll see you in another life in Heaven_  
_Where we never say goodbye_

As soon as it was her time she would in fact meet Sophia again and when that reunion came…it would be the happiest moment for her in a while. There wasn't much to be happy about in this world of death and destruction.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I'd give up all the world to see_  
_That little piece of Heaven looking back at me_

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_  
_I've gotta live with the choices I made_  
_And I can't live with myself today_

Carol would give anything to hold her, to comfort her, to protect her like she failed to do.  
"I'm sorry Sophia, baby, I'm so sorry," Carol cried, burying her head in her hands once more and shaking in a sobbing heap.

_Here we are, now you're in my arms_  
_Here we are for a brand new start_  
_I got to live with the choices I've made_  
_And I can't live with myself today_

_Me and Lucy walking hand in hand_  
_Me and Lucy never wanna end_  
_I've got to live with the choices I've made_  
_And I can't live with myself today_

Carol's sobs wracked her body, as she seemed to run out of tears, wiping them on her sleeve. She blinked her blurry eyes until they were clear and watched as the last of the fire's embers smoldered. Carol wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut, sending a prayer up to Sophia. If anything she wished with all her aching heart to be able to protect Sophia from what happened. If she could have spared her daughter some pain…even if she would have tried to save her, but she died, Carol could have at least said she tried.

No matter how hard she tried, Carol couldn't rewind time. She couldn't rewind what happened. The best thing she could do was…let it go. Keep Sophia locked in her memories but stop torturing herself like this. It was what Sophia would have wanted for her momma…

Carol took a deep breath ad exhaled, letting all her grief release as she laid back. It was doing her no good to continually plague herself when she knew that there really wasn't anything she could do. But in no means would this mean that she would forget about Sophia.

"I'll always remember you baby. I'll always be your momma. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, but we'll be together again soon," Carol whispered in closure.

_Hey Lucy, I remember your name._

* * *

**_A/N: I hope you enjoyed! :D I do not own the song Lucy by Skillet in ANY WAY, I used it to spruce up this little one shot idea, inspired by the song. They have full rights to it, as do the owners of Sophia and Carol. This was an older story that I found lurking in my documents that I had on my old account and thought I'd post it. Review if you'd like! :)_**


End file.
